seasonal depression

Where'd you go I miss you so seems like it's been forever you've been gone ...... dedicated to Coach Chris Givens 12/26/05 I remember that weekend, practices ran normally and the only thing different was you weren't on deck as usual after practice. Someone said you ran out without saying anything, Link told me that he felt pains in his chest and decided to go home. The next day I show up to practice and Chris isn't around, before we get in Link told everyone he went to the hospital but should be fine, I'm sure we all half believed him. The next day he slipped into a coma... Coach said he'd be ok, but a select few of us got to talk to coach, we knew Chris was in bad shape, and he let us know, an emergency support group was set up if you will, but he only told the ones he believe could hide their fear, lead the kids who knew Chris the best, and set an example for everyone else in this time. The next day he was dead. Practice was slow, especially for those who didn't know until showing up. Only a few short days later we had our memorial service, closed down the pool and everything. People turned out from all over north America and Mexico, he was that great. The speakers read their pieces and swimmers left half told stories to the imagination as they drifted off in tears and left the podium crying. We all got the picture, a random bum could have walked in and realized it. No guy looked at another, we all had dignity, even if you held it back, we all cried that day. The power of seeing 3 guys that you hold as some of the mentally toughest guys all dripping tears is an experience I never want to feel in that way again. The man who has looked me in the eye and burned the words he yelled of focusing and self control into my memory now can't hold a stare without a sea of sadness swelling up. Chris had something we all wanted, the ability to be anything that was needed, the expert on life's problems or the funny old man pointing out the cute girls on deck for us. If anyone needed anything Chris would've been the one to give it to them